Whiplash Declines Job as Head of World Bank

Source : Jimbo92107’s diary

Citing his own advancing age and political differences with the Bush administration, Snidely M. Whiplash, Esq. declined the position of President of the World Bank, as replacement for resigning President Paul Wolfowitz.

Whiplash, considered by many to be the true father of the modern conservative movement, first arrived on the public scene in the mid-1960’s during repeated clashes with Canadian law enforcement over what he called "mortgage reform issues." The main disagreement centered on his collection methods, which were regarded as excessive.

Later Whiplash was recognized as the inspiration for several long-term conservative initiatives, including perpetual tax cuts, wage cuts, benefits cuts, limb severance, mortgage reform, tying women to railroad tracks and drowning things in bathtubs.

While widely regarded as the mentor of Leo Strauss and Irving Kristol, Whiplash claims that his methods were far more civil than those employed by his philosophical heirs apparent in the Bush administration.

"Let’s face it," he said, "I was a two-dimensional cartoon, so nobody took my threats too seriously."

He twirled his famous mustache. more after the jump

"I may have attempted some...unseemly things - always to prove a point - but at the end of each episode I was dutifully foiled by that Dudley Do-Right fellow, and after the show we’d all go out for a friendly beer," he said.

Whiplash contrasted that with the behavior of the Bush administration.

"These people don’t seem to recognize the difference between fantasy and reality," he chided. "Why, the other night I saw a Republican ’debate’ where Brit Hume framed a question from a scenario right out of that goofy rightwing fantasy show, ’24.’ Tell me now, who is the cartoon here, me, or Brit Hume ?"

Whiplash tossed his cape melodramatically and strode from the room. Apparently, the interview was over.

The End.. ?

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